Trying too hard
by michaela321
Summary: Post 10x12... It starts three weeks after the wedding, April is married to Matthew, but things don't go so easy for her, after she gets back on her job. And she realizes she might made a wrong decision. And Jackson gets really bad treated by his coworkers, after what he's done. (Sorry for some errors, it's my first story and english is not my maternal language)
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

April

She was walking on the street, and she felt like her lungs are gonna burst. She stop walking and look in front of her. The big sign of _„Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital" _was staring at her. She took a deep breath and it felt like it pierced her lungs. She was back. First time after the big event, after three weeks she was finally going to step back at the hospital.

She took a deep breath once more and said to herself: 'Ok, let's do this.' As she walked inside to the hospital she felt the staring and heard the gossiping. She tried to held her head up high and tried to ignore everybody mumbling about her. She knew this was it. No more hiding, today is the day that she has to show her face to everybody, to her friends, coworkers, bosses... and HIM. Jackson. Oh God, Jackson. How is she supposed to do that? To act around him like nothing happen? Like he didn't try to stop her wedding? Like he didn't profess his love to her in the worst possible moment? Like she didn't care about him, at all?

So many thoughts were running trough her mind, as she stepped in the elevator, and the door closed, as she exhaled thankful that she was alone, nobody to bother her and put their fake smiles for her. And then she remembered...that day.

_FLASHBACK - April's and Mathew's wedding day_

_Jackson had stud up and asked her a question. The question. „DO YOU?" His words were echoing in her head and she froze. What is she supposed to say too him? What is she supposed to do? Tell him 'yes of course I love you, you moron! I always have!' Then she remembered Mathew...sweet loving Mathew. He was so good and nice, how was she supposed to do this to him? They got so far, they were getting married, for crying out loud! She can't tell him: „Hey, sorry, but the wedding..not happening! I don't love you really, I was just settling for you." ... No! NO! She can't do that to him! She would embarrass him and his family, and her family! What would her mother say, or her father? And her sisters? No, she can't go through that hell. She just couldn't!_

_„W-What are you...d-doing?" she manged to say those words to Jackson. She looked at him in anger and disappointment. How can he do this to her? On her wedding day? Seriously? She was so mad at him. She gave him the opportunity to speak, to say this to her, and he didn't. He even snapped at her, like what the hell was she asking him? And now he does this, tells her that he loves her in front of everybody, in front of her family and friends, and in front of her fiancé!_

_„What?... I... You... What is this?!" April said while shaking her head. She was clearly mad.._

_Jackson saw that and tried to say something..._

_ „I am...-" , he was cut of by April. _

_„What? What?" _

_„I'm trying to-"_

_W-What are you trying? W-What are you doing? What the hell are you doing?!" April shouted at him, leaving all of the guests speechless and frozen. They were in a shock, they all knew April was a sweet and nice girl, and seeing her like this was awful._

_Mathew was standing beside April, and by now he didn't said a word, but seeing her react the way she did, she was obviously in shock. „Ok, ok..." he took her by the hand and tried to calm her down. „Calm down... Just take a deep breath and..." he turned his head to Arizona that was standing on April's other side, and tried to tell her, but not really saying anything, to help April calm down and do something._

_Arizona moved from her frozen stand and nodded to Mathew, took April by the hand and tried to take her to the back of the barn, where she can cool down and think what to do next. By this whole time April hold her gaze at Jackson, with her eyes wide open and anger that he never thought he would see in April. She let Arizona take her back in some hallway behind the oltar, and Arizona closed the door behind them. _

_April was so mad. She couldn't believe what was happening right now. She felt the tears in her eyes and she was clenching her teeth in anger. She wanted to marry Mathew, he was the guy for her. He was right for her. And Jackson... After everything that happen between them, after they tried to get back at being friends, so hard, after he made such a big deal about coming or not coming to the wedding. He does this. Like he doesn't even have a little respect for her, to humiliate her like this... a thought went through her head...She hated him. Hated and loved him at the same time. She was going through emotions, and got lost in them._

_It did't even passed a second, and April turned around, opened the door and stepped back in the barn, despite Arizona tried to stop her. She walked down from the aisle and stopped a few feet from Jackson, looking at him with hatred and rage he had never seen in her before. With tears running down her cheeks, and all eyes on her, she said:_

_„You think that you can come here... and do this on my wedding day... tell me in front of everybody here... that you want me!..." she sniffed and took a deep breath before continued, „and you expect...what?... for me to run in to your arms and say yes!..."_

_She closed her eyes, and Jackson stood there frozen and obviously hurt by her words, not knowing what to do, what to say, maybe he should leave, or stay, or what... 'this was a bad idea, what the hell did he do?' went through Jackson's head, and he stared at April with his big green eyes, confused and trying to find a way out of this mess._

_„You are so selfish... and stupid" April continued „and you, you y-you..." pointing her finger at him, she didn't really know what else to say, so she looked at him in his eyes and told him: „Get out. Now. ...Get the hell out of here!" She yelled. He blinked his eyes a couple a times, felt like he couldn't move, like he was glued to floor or something, and looked around at the people at the barn, and at Mathew, who was obviously boiling with rage, and then at April. He looked so hurt by what she said to him, and turned around and run out of the barn. _

_April stood on her place, looking after him, as he left, as he run from her and she could almost feel her heart smashing in to million pieces. And she shouldn't feel like this, because she made him go, she didn't answered his question because she couldn't. She felt a hand on her elbow, and a voice calling her name. She turned around an saw Mathew. He wanted to talk to her in private, and asked her to come with him to the hallway where Arizona took her a few minutes ago. She just nodded her head and went with him. Arizona and Meridith tried to calm the guests who obviously became a little nervous because of the fuss. Alex stood up and buttoning his suit, he looked at Mer, who understood what he was doing and gave him a small nod of her head. He was about to leave when Jo asked him what was he doing. He said: „I gotta go find him, he is not doing so well and I better keep an eye on him." He said clearly worried for his friend. „ I' ll call you later, you stay here..." he said and looked down at Stephanie, who was in a shock, and didn't move because she didn't want everybody to start noticing her and feel sorry for her, „or go...whatever." He swallowed hard and left out of the barn._

April was lost at her thoughts remembering what happen at the wedding. She was still in the elevator and it felt like time stopped for her. That day, back at the barn, she married Mathew. She married the guy she didn't love. Well, yes, she cared for Mathew, and maybe she even did loved him in some way, but not like Jackson. With him it was different. It felt different. When she was with him, it's like the whole world was different. He made her questioned her life, her beliefs, her decisions. Like the whole world was spinning around her, and everything with him felt right, even when it was wrong, he made her feel that it was right.

The elevator stopped and she heard the ding that made her get back to reality. She stepped out and made her way at the attending lounge to change in her scrubs.

* * *

Jackson

He was sitting in the room behind the nurse station on the first floor, writing some papers. He just wanted to do the paperwork before the meeting, and do it in peace. But that didn't work for him. At the nurse station there were Meridith, sitting on the chair, and doing something on the computer, Yang, sitting next to her and swinging on her chair right to left, Torres and Robbins standing and leaning on the nurse station. They were laughing out loud and talking, so that he could hear their every word.

„U-uhh, I have three bowel resections today" Meridith said, „I hate bowel resections!"

Torres: „Well, at least, you're gonna be at the O.R., I'm gonna spend the day at the lab, working on my research, ALONE, since your husband bailed on me."

Meridith just waved her hand at that. She didn't want to talk about that, Derek and her were trying to get passed that. They were on good turns, for now, but she was still pissed at him, because her research, and her printed portal vein were on stop because of his presidential research.

„It's Monday" Cristina smirked and said „Nothing good happens on Monday. It's just pure boredom."

„Well..." Robbins was talking now with a smile on her face, „April is coming back today. That's good."

„Oh, great... Kepner is really gonna make my day all fresh and shinny." Yang said sarcastically.

The girls laughed. „So you're talking to her" , Meridith started, „ How does she like the married life?"

Robbins: „ She says it's good. Actually, she says it's great. They just got back from their honey moon. They were on Niagara Falls, and then they went to Martha's Vineyard."

Torres: „ I thought she was coming back next week. Has it been all ready four weeks?"

Robbins: „Well, three, actually. They had to cut their honey moon a little, 'cause Mathew's uncle or someone got sick, so he is out of town, and she decided to come back at work. She misses it." She said with a big smile on her face.

Jackson was still at the room and he heard everything they were saying. Great. April was coming back today. He wasn't ready for that. He stopped writing and putted down the pen, and took his papers, opening the door, and wanting to just get out of there as soon as possible. The girls were still at the nurse station, and they were still commenting on April's happy married life. They were laughing out loud, when they saw him walking out of the room, and stopped talking, just looking at him with a smirk on their faces. He slowly nodded his head to them, as a sign of 'hello' and pursed his lips as tighter he could. He walked away from them, and went to the elevator.

„ He's in a bad mood." Torres said.

„Yeah, well..." Robbins started, „ he deserves to be."

* * *

April was walking through the hospital, and staring at her phone. She was in her scrubs now. She felt good in her scrubs and with her lab coat on her, she felt like she belongs here. She pinned her wedding ring on her navy blue shirt, like Callie suggested her once. She was getting to the staff meeting, that was in the conference room on the forth floor. They had that meetings once a month, first Monday in the month, which was today. She was excited to see everybody, but also very nervous. She knew Jackson was gonna be there too, and she really didn't wanna see him so soon. She was hopping she could avoid him for a while.

When she was near the door, she heard the fuss inside, and took a deep breath, with a smile on her face, she walked through the door. There were Meridith, Derek and Yang sitting by the table on the right side. Hunt was standing in front of everybody, and waiting for all the doctors to arrive so that he could start the meeting. On the opposite side of Mer, Derek and Yang, there was Jackson. Sitting in the chair dressed in his scrubs. He didn't saw her yet, 'cause he was engaged in a serious conversation with the doctor by his side. He was a plastic surgeon too, so they were probably talking about some plastic stuff. When April saw him, she felt like her heart is gonna burst. She saw Robbins and Torres standing on the side, and they smiled at her and waved to her. She quickly went over to them, hopping she wasn't drawing to much attention to her.

A few more doctors came into the room, so the meeting could begin. Hunt said hi to all of them and greeted them politely. Jackson scan the people over the room causally, and his eyes set on a read head, standing across the room from him, by her side were Robbins and Torres. She was smiling lightly, and acting like she haven't noticed him.

He wasn't listening to Hunt not even a word, while he was watching April across the room. She was more beautiful then ever. Like her hair was brighter and shinier, her eyes were bigger and the beautiful shade of hazelnut color. And her lips. God, those lips. They were so small, with a light pink shade of lip gloss. So beutiful, and kissable and so soft. Maybe it seemed like that because he hadn't seen her for a while.

He was staring at her all this time, not noticing the people around him at all. She felt his gaze on her, and tried so hard to act like she didn't care, with a smile, acting out a happy face. She couldn't do it any more, and her eyes weren't listening to her, and they meet his big green eyes. And she got lost in them in a second. Her smile faded from her face and she found herself staring at him, the same way he stared at her. She slightly opened her mouth, and continue to stare.

She tried to look away to Hunt, who was saying some stuff about the E.R., but she didn't really heard what he was saying. Her eyes were constantly running from Hunt to Jackson. She felt lost, and felt the tears that were accmulating in her eyes. Finally Jackson looked away, to Hunt, who was ending his speech.

„So that would be all, people. And while we are all here now, I just have a few announcements." Hunt said „ Dr Shane Ross is back today, and it is his first day back. He's been doing therapy, and he seems fine, for now. He is on Dr. Grey's service today, so I hope you will make him feel welcome and not pressure him a lot." Merditith just nodded in understanding. Hunt continued to talk „And also we have Dr. Kepner back today as well, so I would like to say in name of everybody here, that we wish you, April, a great return in the saddle today and we also want to wish you a lot of happines and understanding in your new marriage." He finished with a smile on his face. Everybody in the room started clapping their hands to April, and she thanked them with a smile on her face. She noticed that the only one not clapping was Jackson. He looked hurt and slightly angry, and he wasn't looking at her anymore, he was staring at the table. He looked up to her for a moment, and stood up to leave the room. Everybody stopped clapping and some were leaving and some stayed chatting. But Jackson was all ready gone.

April tried to avoid her coworkers, so that she didn't had to chat with them. She hurried to the stairway, and picked her phone from her pocket, checking for any messages or calls. Nothing. She sigh slowly, and started dialing a number. She put her phone on her ear, but there was no answer, just a machine saying to leave a message. She went down to the pit, hopping that work would help her mind not to wonder around.

But it didn't help her. It was a slow day, and with no traumas. She spend the next two hours just scribing on some papers, and chatting with the nurses at the E.R. She felt her phone vibrating and checked in a hurry. It was Arizona, texting her to meet her at the nurse station on the third floor if she is not busy. She decided to do it. After all, Arizona was better to chat with then the nurses at the E.R.

At first, there were only them two, but soon after that Callie joined them, and some nurse that was working at the floor.

„Oh, we would love to come to your baby shower. Of course." Callie was saying to the nurse, „I love baby showers!"

The nurse went away, and Jackson just got out from the elevator, holding some papers and walking to them. April felt very awkward about it, and she avoid his gaze looking at her phone and typing something on it. He was coming to write on the O.R. board that was right across the nurses station where she was. He stand by the board, took a marker and start writing. 'Of course' he thought to himself 'she is gonna be there. That's what they say karma'. He tried to focus on what he was writing, but he couldn't not hear what the girls were saying.

Callie saw him, and gave the girls a naughty smile, as Jackson was turned with his back to them. At that moment, Aprils phone vibrate. Callie said „You are constantly on that phone. What, is that your hubby dirty texting you?" She smiled at April.

April was so embarrassed. She didn't know what to say to that. Arizona pushed her arm and made a face like 'com on, say something'. When she noticed she wouldn't, Arizona said „Oh, Callie, I am sure Mathew is just checking on her. He doesn't seemed the kind who would dirty texted. Am I right?" She smiled lightly and tried to make April a litlte less awkward. April just looked at them confused, and she just laughed lightly.

Yang approached them and asked them what are they talking about. Arizona said with a smile on her face: „We were talking about April 's honey moon." April looked at her with surprise. Yang asked her: „ Hey, yeah, how is Martha's Vineyard? I was thinking going over there for my next vacation? Is there like a free wine sampling or something?"

April just opened her mouth to speak, but Callie cut her of, „Oh, please, like she even went sightseeing. The only thing she was watching was the ceiling in their hotel room." The girls laughed out loud, and April wide open her eyes and her mouth, that were shaping a letter O in shock. Jackson got nervous at Callie's words, so that he didn't really know what was he writing and even if he was doing it right.

„He got the bun in the oven!" Yang said and cracked in to laughter.

Callie and Arizona followed her laughter too. April slightly smiled at this, as she noticed that they were doing it for her. They wanted to show that Jackson was the bad guy in this, and April is the victim. She was kind of glad about it. She looked at Jackson's back, and remember all the anger she felt for him.

„Oh, 'com on! You're terrible!" April made a sound finally, „It's not like that. He is a sweet and nice guy. And yes, he checks on me all the time, texiting me how I'm beautiful and that he misses me. He is the perfect guy. I couldn't wish for a better one." She said proudly, with a naughty smile on her face.

„Oowww!" Callie exhaled, „You are so lucky. I envy you."

„Yeah...", Arizona followed her lead, „that kind of guys are really rare. Most of them are just douchebags, or spoiled momma'boys who think they do what they want, just because they own a hospital!" She said a little louder, so that Jackson could know it was addressed to him.

The girls wanted to laugh, but Jackson stopped writing on the board and started turning around to face them. April turned over her back, so that she didn't had to see him.

As he turned, he looked at the group, that was staring at him innocently. Instead of saying anything nasty to them, he just nodded his head to them and said:

„Ladies"

He went down to the hallway,trying to escape from their nasty comments. As soon as he turned they burst to laughter, and April joined them. She liked the way that the group was on her side and loved how he didn't have anything to say. Obviously, he got used to being the bad guy while she was gone.

* * *

The rest of the day passed slowly. But April was happy that she didn't had to faced Jackson later. Her shift was almost over, and she went outside of the hospital to make a call. She sat down on the bench and picked up her phone from her pocket. She took a deep breath while she was dialing the number. Again the machine. This time she decided to leave a message.

„Hey... It's me. Obviously." She was saying slowly „So... I am back... at work. Today was my first day back. It was kind of slow and weird,... But, I survived. So... anyway I just wanted to call you, and say 'hi'... so...call me when you can." She disconnected the call and sigh hard. She watched at her phone and then at the floor. She felt awful. Her phone rang in that moment, and she didn't recognized the ID caller.

She picked up the phone : „Hello?" She asked full of hope „Hello?"

Nobody answered. But she knew it was him.

„Mathew?... Please say something..."

There was silence for a moment, but then he started talking.

„Hi." He said lightly

„Oh, God... Mathew, I am so glad that you called me. I mean... Really... I just..." She stopped talking.

„Yeah, well... I don't really know why did I call."

„Mathew" April exhaled hardly, „I am so sorry. ... Where are you?"

„I am at some cousins house. Visiting."

„When are you coming back?" She asked worried

„ I'm not sure."

April shook her head „What do you mean? Matt, I haven't seen you or heard from you for three weeks. ...You can't just act like nothing is wrong. We're married. We need to try to make this right. To make it work. Please, just came home."

„The truth is, ...April... I don't think that we can make this work. I don't know how. I don't know where do we go from here."

April froze at his words. What was he saying? „No. ... No. You can't just give up like that without even trying. That's not right. We can't- ..."

„I gotta go" He cut her off.

„ No, Mathew...-" She said, but he was all ready gone.

It was over. She sat in shock. That was the truth. She didn't live a happy life with Mathew. She didn't even know where he was. She hasn't seen him since the wedding. And she was lying to everybody. She wasn't in Martha's Vineyard or Niagara Falls. She was at her apartment, hiding for three weeks, and acting that she is happily married. But she wasn't. And her marriage was falling apart. She was a liar.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

Arizona was sitting by the table in the attendings lounge, with a cup of coffee in front of her and a magazine in her hands. She was on call for the night, and decided to start it like that. She was reading some artticle, when April came in the room. Arizona just said hi to her and didn't really paid attention at her.

„Hey, there's this new french restaurant that opened recently. I was thinking that we should try it." Arizona said with her eyes still on the magazine.

„Maybe we could double date it? You think Matthew would - " She looked up at April, who was sitted on the couch by the door and she looked paler than usual, and obviusly upset. „April? What is it?" She asked her when she noticed that her eyes were tearfull and she looked like she is going to burst to cry any second. „April?"

April finally looked at Arizona. „I think my marriage is over." She said with a shaky voice.

„What? What are you talking about?" Arizona asked her with surprise.

April just looked at her and started crying. Arizona came and sat next to her on the couch. She put her hand over April's shoulder and tried to calm her down. She was like that for a couple a minutes, when Arizona said to her: „April, it's ok. Just calm down and tell me what happened."

April strarted to wiping of her tears with the sleeve of her lab coat. She took a deep breath and tried to pull herself together.

„Me and Matthew... we're not together. I don't even know where he is." April started to talk, and Arizona looked at her in shock. „I haven't seen him since the wedding. Well, since our wedding night, better said. We came in to the hotel room, and in the morning we were supposed to leave to the airport. When we came in the room, he was so weird. He didn't talk to me at all. And when I started to ask him questions, he snapped at me. He said that he didn't know why he married me. That I didn't wanted to marry him, not really." She stopped and started crying again. Arizona got up and poured her a glass of water and handed to her. April took a sip of the water and continued the story.

„He said a lot of awfull things to me that night... He left the room and said he was going for a walk. He didn't came back. I stayed at the hotel for the couple of next nights, but then I got back to my apartment. I tried calling him a thousend times. Tonight is the first time I got to him. And it wasn't a good talk either."

Arizona hugged her tight with her arms and said to her, „Oh, April. Why didn't you said anything? You could a told me. We talked so many times and not once you mentioned...- Why?"

„I didn't want anybody to pity me. And besides, stuff like this would travel around the hospital in a second. I just decided to put on an act, 'cause I don't think that I even admit to myself yet. Well, 'till tonight. I just... I couldn't stand that people look at me like that."

Arozna looked at her sympathetically. „I wouldn't judge you April, if that's what you think. We all make mistakes. We are no different then one to another. But the way we deal those mistakes...and try to make it right... makes us strong. Only that way you can pass those bad things and go on with your life."

„That's really nice. And a really a good way to put it." April answered to her.

„Well, I memorized it from some movie. I just say it so I can look smart." Arizona tired to cheer her up.

April smiled at that and said „Still... thank you."

„ You're welcome." The blonde answer her with a smile on her face.

The next day, April woke up at sound of her phone alarm. She reached her hand to the nightstand where her phone was and turned it off. She looked through window and saw that it was a pretty sunny day outside. That instantly made her feel better. She went to shower and brush her teeth, put some clothes on her and directed to work. As she was walking down the stairs of her building she heard a voice behind her calling her name.

„Ms. Kepner!"

April turned around and saw a short, bald man in his 40-is or 50-is, and tried to smile when she realized it was her landlord Mr. Bonan.

„Oh... I am so glad that I caught you, Ms. Kepner." He said „I am sorry, but I thought that you were supposed to move out last week. I mean.. don't get me wrong... but if you are planing on staying I'm gonna need you to pay rent."

April looked at him, trying to find a way out of it. She knew she was supposed to move out last week. She was planing to move in a beautiful three bedroom apartment with her husband...but, that ship has sailed.

„I know, Mr. Bonan. I haven't forget about it. I was just wondering if maybe you can wait for a little while more. You see, I... I been kind a low with the money lately." She said to him.

„Low with the money?" the bald man asked „I thought you are some big shoot surgeon. Aren't you guys suppose to be loaded in money?"

April gave him a confused look, and shrugged her shoulders like a lost little girl.

„Listen... I like you Kepner... I mean you're a good girl, and you don't keep pets, you're not loud... and you got a nice little ass to look at..." he said to her, and April's eyes wide opened at him. „but, you gotta pay the rent. I'll give you two days to get the money. If you don't find it, I'm afraid you're gonna have to move out."

Jackson is standing at the nurse station while the nurse is giving him some charts. Meridith and Yang are coming in his direction and laughing about something.

„Hey." He greets them „so what are you two up to?"

„I have a valve replacement, so I need an intern. Where are they?" Yang asked.

Jackson just shrugged his shoulders, and Meridith shook her head. Just them the interns apeard. There were Jo, Stephanie, Leah and Ross, who was shyly standing behind his friends.

„Oh, you're here." Yang talked „Good. Ok, Murphy, you're with me. Wilson's on Dr. Grey's service today, Ross go find Bailey, and Edwards, you are in the pit."

Stephanie looked awkwardly at Yang, and shrugged Jo who was standing by her side.

„Actually, I would like to go to the E.R... I haven't had that much time there lately...If that's ok." Jo said, and the attending's looked a little surprised. Obviously, Stephanie didn't want to go to the pit because of Kepner, so Jo stepped up for her friend.

„Fine, what ever works for you." Meridith said awkwardly.

„Well, just give him the money." Arizona said to April while they were walking through the hallway of the hospital, getting back from the cafeteria, and each of them holding a coffee in their hands.

„No, I am not gonna pay him, 'cause I don't have the money and I can't get it in two days." April said to her.

„Well then why don't you move in to that apartment that you and Matthew wanted."

„Yeah, I can't do that either. Because for me to be able to move in I gotta pay the deposit for the apartment, and I don't have any money, because of the whole wedding expenses."

„Why don't you ask Matthew to pay a part of the wedding expenses. It was his wedding too."

„He barley talks to me at all. He is still mad at me about everything. I can't just ask him money. That's insensitive. You know, I guess I'll just sleep in the street. That must be some kind of punishment on me."

„It's not a punishment. And you're not gonna sleep on the street. You can stay with me and Callie"

„No, I am not gonna interfere on you two. You guys have enough problems on your on."

„Don't be like that. I can't let you without a roof over your head."

April looked at her with a soft smile on her face. She was so lucky to have a friend like Arizona.

„Thank you. Really. I don't know what I would done without you." April said to her. As they got to the elevator, and April pressed the button to call it in.

„I just... I don't even know how did I got myself into this situation. How did it all fell apart so soon."

And just when she said it, the elevator door opened, and they saw Jackson standing in it, leaned on the back wall of the elevator. Arizona gave April a knowingly look. Of course, there was the reason why it all went down the way it did and it was him. They stepped inside and didn't talk at all, There was uncomfortable silence between the three doctors. The elevator stopped at the second floor and Arizona stepped out of it. She just waved at April, who nodded at her smiling lighty. Jackson, standing behind April said „Dr. Robbins". She looked at him confused and shook her head as the elevator door started to close.

It was just April and him. Alone. He looked at her as she was standing in front of him with her back facing him. She was nervously staring at the numbers, and he knew she wanted to jump out of the elevator as soon as possible. He took a step closer behind her and he could take in the intoxicating smell of her hair. It was some flowery smell (he didn't knew what flower exactly, but hey, he's not a florist) with a hint of vanilla. It was unbelivable. He hasn't seen her in weeks or even said a word to her and now she was standing so close to him. She felt that he was close and it made her more nervous than she was before.

In that moment the elevator stopped at the fifth floor, and April was waiting the door to open. Jackson knew that she was going to run away again, and he didn't want that to happen. Something weird came over him and he stepped in front of April and pressed the stop button. The door didn't open. April was in shock. What was he doing?

He looked at her with his penetrating eyes and she melted to him. Those gorgeus eyes. How could she resist the way that he was looking at her, like he was looking right at her soul. She snapped out of it, and looked away from him. She pressed the stop button and the door opened. She furiously got out before Jackson could say anything. He stood at the elevator and felt like a complete idiot. The door closed and he mumbled to himself "Damn it! Idiot!"

_A FEW DAYS LATER_

Jackson was standing in the hallway with Murphy beside him. He was looking at his iPad and giving the intern instructions. He heard heels stepping behind him, but he didn't pay any attention. „Jackson, baby." He heard a voice behind him and without even looking he knew who it was. „Do what I told you and page me if something goes wrong" he said to Murphy, who took the iPad and went away. He turned his back and saw his mother standing and looking at him sympathetically.

„Mom!" He greeted her with a fake smile on his face.

„Oh, honey! Don't look at me like that. I am here strictly on business. But how is my baby doing?" she stepped closer and pinched his cheeks. She moved her hand on his arms and said to him „Oh, my, oh my...look at you. You lost some wieght... Have you been eating anything at all? What are you doing to yourself? Is it work? Is it to stressful for you?"

Jackson just rolled his eyes at his mothers comments and sigh deeply. She was holding his face in her hands when her eyes went behind him and she saw April. She knew his problems had everything to do with the redhead girl. She pressed her lips together and looked at her son.

„I can see it's not work related. It's your poor aching heart." She said to him and gently put her hand on Jackson's chest. He turned around and saw April standing over the nursing station.

„Mom... please. I don't have an aching heart. Ok? My heart is fine." He said as he turned his head back to his mother.

Catherine Avery was walking through the hospital and looking for someone. She left her son as he had to go and prep himself for a surgery he had. That gave her a chance to do what she wanted to do. She saw a redhead in the pit sitting on a stool with Christina Yang to her side. She approached the two doctors who haven't noticed her.

„Well well well.." the urology surgeon said when she came closer to them. „I can see that not all doctors are very interested in their patients health. Dr. Yang, don't you have something better to do then to just sit here?" She looked at the Asian doctor with a smirk on her face. „And throw that chewing gum out of your mouth. This is a hospital, not a schoolyard." Yang just got up without a word. She threw the gum in the trash and before leaving she stick out her tongue to the urologist's back.

Catherine looked at April and said to her „And you...what should I do with you?" April smiled at the women, hopping for a trauma to come so that she didn't had to take more of this uncomfortable act.

„Let's get some lunch." The older Avery said and headed her way to the cafeteria. April followed her silently.

Down at the cafeteria they were seated at a table. April didn't talk much because Catherine went on and on about some cool surgery she did last week. Of course, that wasn't what she wanted to talk about with April, but somebody needed to break the ice.

„And how you've been, sweetie?" Jackson's mom asked her.

„Fine... I am just fine." April answered her. „Really fine."

„You said 'fine' three times. I don't think that you're fine." Catherine said to her, and rested her head on her hand, with her elbow sitting on the table. She didn't took her eyes away from April. She knew that is going to throw the trauma surgeon of her game.

„Well, that's because I am fine. I ... I am really good." April stated proudly, because she could find another word then 'fine'.

„Mhmm.." the older women mumbled to her not believing a word she was saying. „How is your husband?" she asked her, while April took a sip of her soda and almost choked at the words. There was soda coming out of her nose, and she covered it with her hand. She coughed and took a napkin to dry her face.

Catherine looked at her with her eyes and mouth opened. She knew something was wrong.

April tried to stay normal, and smiled and said „Fine." Her smile faded when she realized she repeated again that word.

„Fine?" The urologist asked „Just fine or 'fine'?"

„Uhmm.. no... I meant... Just...uum." April was trying to explain herself, but couldn't find the proper words.

„Ok. Let's just go on the next topic. Have you seen my son lately?" Catherine asked her.

„Oh... well no. Not really. I've been busy." April told her avoiding her gaze.

„Busy? You work in the same place. You can't be that busy"

April didn't know what to say. The older women was making her very nervous.

„O April! I don't mean to be hard on you... but there are certain stuff that you two need to resolve." Catherine said to her and placed her hand over April's, as she continued. „I love my son, and I want him to be happy. And I know that deep down you want that too. I don't know what it is exactly that happend between you two. I just know he wouldn't stood up like that on your wedding for no apparent reason. If you moved on from that, it's fine, just...let him move on then to. Talk to him." The women spoke, and April saw that she was almost crying. She was really worried for her son. She felt terrible. April took a deep breath and said.

„Matthew left me." She said, not really aware why she told this to that women. She's been keeping it from everybody and acting a happy married women and now she just blurted out her well kept secret. The women stared at her in shock. She didn't know what to say as she covered her mouth to stop herself from saying something insensitive.

„Oh, God!" April squalled „I don't even know why I said that. I shouldn't said anything. Oh, God! Please, you can't tell anybody. Nobody knows that. Please, Dr. Avery don't say a word." She begged her.

„I... I can't believe I am actually speechless." Catherine said and shook her head.

„So, does that mean you're not gonna tell anyone?"

Catherine nodded at her question and said „How did this happened?"

„I don't even know it myself." April told her.

„Are you going to divorce him? What are you going to do?"

„No. No. Well, I don't know. I mean, obviously I want to try to save my marriage. I owe it to myself and to him to at least try. I mean..that what I have to do.. Right?"

Jackson's mom just stared at her. „I can't answer you that."

They sat in silence for a while, both trying to process what the other one said.

**Hey, everybody! So I am not really satisfied with this chapter. I meant to take it in a different direction. But, whatever... Anyway, for the next one I am prepareing something different. And, of course as 100% Japril fan, the story will get the happy ending. But I just wanna go slowly so it can be more believable. Hope you're enjoying it! **


	3. Chapter 3

_**HEY, EVERYBODY!**_

_**I know I haven't uploaded a while now, but I have some personal stuff going on, and I really had a problem with this chapter. I didn't really know how to do, what I wanted, but I guess it worked out somehow. I just wanted to get out with it already, so I can continue my story. So, if you don't like this chapter, don't give up on it, because, now I am back on track and it will get more and more interesting. I promise!**_

_**Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!**_

* * *

CHAPTER 3

„You're nagging all the time! There's always something with you!"

„Oh, please! Like you are easy to live with!"

„Bla bla bla! I am not listening you! Bla, bla bla!"

„Yeah, act like a child! That's really nice!"

April was standing in the living room of Arizona's and Callie's apartment, listening them fight since they got up. And the night before they were doing the same thing. And the day before that. She was staying in their place, just until she gets up on her feet. Which was coming very slowly. Her new roommates were fighting constantly and she felt so awkward about it all. She said Arizona that she will wait on her so that they can go to the hospital together, but her fight with Callie went on and on. So she went out alone.

She walked inside of the hospital and felt really tired. Not physically tired. She was mentally tired of hiding herself. Hiding her life and acting like she is happy, but really she felt miserable. Her life was a train wreck, she was sleeping on the couch of two fighting lesbians, that, btw, wasn't that all comfy. She entered at the attending lounge and find herself alone. She sat down on the couch and closed her eyes. She needed a little piece of her own.

That piece didn't lasted long, when a screaming Alex came in to the room, followed by Christina, Meredith, and Derek.

„I am not gonna pay you rent on one miserable room that doesn't even have furniture!" Yang said to Alex.

Derek took himself a bottle of water from the fridge and stared amusingly at the duo fighting. Meredith sat on the stool and did the same. Apparently, they found screaming in the early morning interesting.

„It's my house! And you're not gonna live in it for free. You don't pay the rent, you move out! It's as simple as that!"Karev yelled.

„Oh, please! I don't even use the rest of the house! I come, I sleep, and I go away!"

„Well, then go away permanently!"

April sighed. She took her scrubs and stepped out of the room. A minute of piece. That's all she wanted.

Later that day, April didn't had some piece at the E.R. either. It was a busy day. So at lunch she came in to an empty room and thought that at least for 15 minutes nobody would bother her. She was wrong.

Arizona saw her from outside and came in. „Hey, you didn't wait for me this morning. Why did you left without saying a word?" She asked her.

_'Maybe because you were screaming like a crazy bitch at your wife!'_ April thought to herself.

„I had to make a pit stop on my way to work. So... I just left alone." She said to her instead.

„Ok." The blonde responded, not really sure that April was saying the truth.

Soon after that, in the room came in Yang complaining about Alex and his house. Not long after that came Webber, talking about some gall bladders. The room kept fulling with more and more people and April felt like she is gonna burst. She went out of the room without saying a word. She had to leave that place. She went to the stairway and not really sure on which floor she was, she entered in the supply closet and shoot the door behind her.

As she sat on some box that was by the door she ran her hand through her hair, and bent her head down.

„Oh, God...Why don't you all just shut up and leave me alone! I have enough of problems of my own!" She said, not realizing she wasn't alone on the room.

„I didn't say anything." She heard a voice talking. _Oh, no! Not that voice! _She looked up and saw him coming from the dark with some medical stuff in his hands. First thing she spotted were the eyes. _No, not again! _Jackson stood in front of her in confusion and not moving his eyes off of her.

„I am sorry. I thought I was alone." She responded quickly, and got up from the box, and tried to get out.

„No! Wait!" Jackson yelled as he noticed she was about to leave. He placed the medical supplies on the shelf nearby and took a step closer to April. She froze at him. She knew she had to leave, 'cause if she stay, it could lead to something bad...something really bad.

„Listen,... I think we need to talk." He said in a deep serious voice. A voice that made her every cell in her body scream in a desire to touch him. That sexy voice that made her tremble. _God! Why does he have to be so indescribably hot! No! Stop thinking like that! _ April's mind was crazy. So many thoughts were going through her head, when he interrupted her thinking by his words.

„I know that you are trying to avoid me. And, frankly, I understand that. I am not your favorite person right now. I just... I don't want it to be like that between us, April."

Things between them were bad, and April knew that. This guy was a part of her life once, an important part. Not only in a romantic way, but once a upon a time he was her friend. And she wanted him back in her life, God knows that she did. But, her life is a mess now, and he is the one she blamed.

„I don't have anything to say to you." She told him trying to avoid his gaze.

„Com 'on, April. We can't act like we don't even know each other. We should try to resolve this, try to make things easier. Look, I don't want come to work and walk through the hospital like I'm walking on eggshells. I don't want you to think that you need to avoid me, because... because everything is so weird between us." He said to her sincerely.

She knew he was right. It was an awful feeling trying to hide around and walk on her toes, just because he made pop out any moment. As much as she wanted to solve everything, she knew she can't be easy on him. He is still the guy that was responsable for her marriage falling apart, her sleeping on someone's elses couch,plus the fact, she had no money.

She looked at him painfully and said. „I am not the one who made things between us the way they are, Jackson."

„I know. And I'm sorry. I don't know how to make things right. I don't know what to do, or how can we go back. I... I just want my friend back." She listened to him as he deepen his gaze on her. Like he was trying to swallow her whole with his eyes.

April looked at him confusingly. „Friend? You want to be my friend?" She started laughing as she felt her eyes filling with tears. „How the hell do you think we can do that? You stopped my wedding, Jackson! You had this enlightenment moment and you professed your love for me! At my wedding!" April was clearly mad and she was in a shock. He tried to stop her from saying anything else, but she started to move around the room with her hands tossing dramatically in air as she yelled at him.

„How the hell can you even think that we can move pass that? What, we just act like nothing happen? Like everything is ok? Because everything is not ok, Jackson! Or maybe you think that I am going to fall again for you, so I will cheat on my husband with you? Is that what you want? You just want to ruin my life as much as you can?"

„April, I never said any of that. I care about you, and what we have means too much for me, to just forget about it." Jackson said, while he was trying to calm her down.

She stared at him and tears were falling down her cheeks. She didn't even care to wipe them off. She just stared at him. „Yeah." She said in a whisper. „ We were friend once. And maybe there was a time when our friendship could survive those things that happened. I didn't want to lose you, Jackson. But, I don't think that we can survive this. This..." she sniffed and continued „This is too much."

„April, please. You don't mean that. You're just mad at me. But, time heals everything, you know. And with time you won't feel like that anymore." He said to her and smiled, trying to make her feel better. She was crying, and he hated that.

She took a step forward in his direction, watching her feet carefully make that bold move. She raised her eyes, that were red and teary, to him and with a little hesitation asked him:

„Can you – Can you promise that you won't feel like that about me? That you won't see me as more than just your friend?"

He lost his breath at her question. The truth is that he can't. And he probably won't ever see her again as just his friend. She was once that, but after they crossed that line, by getting evolved with each other, that door was closed. He knew that very well. He doesn't really know when did it happened, at what moment he fell in love with her. He was so busy trying to move on from her, that he didn't even realised that it just made him love her more. But, now...she was married. She choose another guy. He had his chance to speak up, when there was a small chance she would pick him. But he blew it. And he lost her. So, in the spirit of their once a upon a time friendship, he needed to make it right.

He took a deep breath in and looked at her. „I will try. Because, as much as it pains me to see you happy with someone else... It would hurt a lot worse than not to be a part of your life."

April looked at him all of this time. She felt her heart breaking as he was saying that. They fell into silence and just glared at each other. The silence was nice. It wasn't uncomfortable or weird. It was refreshing and liberating. For the first time, there was no awkwardness between them. Then April broke the silence.

„Did you meant what you said?"

He looked at her questionably. He didn't really know to what was she referring to.

„That day? Did you meant it?"

„Every word." He said to her, as she smiled lightly at his answer. She looked a up in the ceiling and sighed. Something was going through her head and he didn't knew what it was. She looked back at him and as she was chewing on her bottom lip, her eyes wide oped and tearful she said,

„Then we can't be friends. We can't be anything. You ruined that for us. You ruined our friendship." She shook her head and with that said she turned her back on him and stepped out of the room. He stood there not moving. He felt like she pierced his heart with a cold steel knife. He felt his eyes watering as he run his hand through his face and tried to restrain himself. As many times that April Kepner broke his heart, this was the worst one.

* * *

April was sitting at Joe's with a glass of scotch in front of her. She needed a drink, after all that situation with Jackson, she felt awful. She was slowly sipping her drink, when she felt a hand on her shoulder and somebody saying her name. She looked back, and saw Arizona standing behind her with a smile on her face. April greeted her and turned back to her drink, as the blonde women took a seat next to her.

„Bad day?" She asked her redhead friend, pointing to her drink.

„You don't know the half of it." April answered.

„Well, tell me about it."

„Shouldn't you be getting home?" trauma surgeon asked her and looked at her for a moment, then set her gaze back at her drink. „You know, to scream at your wife?" She blurted out. She instantly felt bad about it, obviously the scotch was hitting her already.

„Yeah... Sorry about that. Callie and I... that's just something..." Arizona didn't really know what to say.

„I'm sorry." April cut her off. They were silent for a couple moments, and then she spoke again. „I'm gonna move out. I shouldn't have move in in the first place. You have your own problems, and I am making you another. So, I'll move out."

„No, April...the other women talked „No. You are not a problem, really. You can't move out, 'cause you don't have anywhere to go. I am not leaving you on the street."

She smiled at April, and got her purse to take out some money to pay April's drink.

„Com 'on." She said with a playful smile „Let's go."

„No, I'm gonna stay a little bit more."

„Callie left this afternoon to a convection in New York. She's coming back tomorrow night. And Sophia is with my parents. We got the apartment for our selfs. And we need some fun" Arizona assured her. April smiled at her and decided to go with it. What bad can happen?

It was around 11 o'clock p.m. Arizona and April already drank more than half of bottle of tequilla. The alcohol had already hit them,and worming them up.

„You know, Callie told me she used to dance around the house in her underwear." Arizona said, clearly bused of the drink.

April laughed at that and took a sip of tequilla from the bottle, then passing it to her friend that was sited next to her on the couch.

„I could never do that. I'm too uptight for that." Redhead pointed out, as the blonde confirmed by nodding her were sitting on the couch and drinking, when Arizona jump of the couch and went over to the stereo, turning a some song on the radio. She looked at April playfully and started to move in the rhythm. April looked at her surprisingly.

„Well, now is your chance! Com 'on!" The blonde yelled as she took of her pants and started dancing around. April couldn't help but laugh at Arizona and her silly dance movements, clearly because of the alcohol, but her prosthetic leg wasn't helping the case either. She took another sip of the drink, leaned the bottle on the floor and stand up on her feet while unziping her pants.

Bayley was walking through the hallway of the building with some papers in her hands. She was supposed to get Arizona the papers, so she can signed them for her new trial. She heard loud music, and stopped for a moment. She heard it from Torres and Robbins's apartment. She knew Callie shouldn't be at home 'cause she left early for NY. She knocked the door and heard the volume of the music coming down. Arizona opened the door just enough so she can put her head out.

„You're not the pizza!" She exclaimed.

Bayley looked at her with a raised brow and open mouth. „No I'm not your pizza." She looked down as Arizona pushed the door a little more open and saw that the blonde women was standing in her panties and a t shirt on.

„OOOH! Where are your pants?" Bayley asked her, and heard a noise inside of her apartment. „And who is with you? I thought Callie left to her convention."

„No... Yeah. Yes. Callie is in NY." Arizona answered and laughed a little.

Bayley heard somebody in the apartment laughing and it seemed as a women's laugh. She pushed the door opened and saw April standing on the couch wearing a tank top and panties on her.

„Kepner?!" the small women yelled, while the two other, clearly drunk women laugh. Bayley looked back at Arizona, watched her head to toe and then turned her wide open eyes back to April.

„This is what's you do when your wife goes out of town? Get naked with another women? And Kepner, of all?"

Arizona stopped laughing as she realised what Bayley was thinking. „No! No! No. No. It's not like that." She said and shook her head.

Bayley looked at her pressing her lips together and giving her a bad look. „Mmhmmm. Right." She turned and stepped out of the apartment and left.

„No, Bayley! ...we're not...we were just having some fun! Callie is out of town and my kid isn't here, so it's perfect!"

„Oh, hell, yeah, it's perfect! For you!" the black women said to her, not believing her a word she said. „And put some pants on!" She exclaimed and turned around, looking for the exit.

Arizona yelled after her, but she couldn't heard her. She stepped back at the apartment, looked at April and said „I think we got a problem." April looked surprised.

* * *

NEXT DAY

„What are we going to do?" April asked Arizona while they were walking through the hallways of the hospital.

„Don't worry about it. I'll talk to Bayley and explain to her. She will understand it." The blonde responded.

„Well, I hope so. I have enough eyes on me like this, I don't want think what would happen if a word got out that I am playing for another team. I am a married women, recently, and I can have people thinking that I'm gay. Or that I am cheating on my husband with the hospitals favorite lesbian cheater."

Arizona smirked at her „I am not... Me and Callie are fine."

„Yeah, whatever. Just deal with it!" April said and went on her way, while Arizona stand at the nurse station picking the Ipad and typing something on it. Bayley appeared behind her back, and taking a small look at the blonde doctor, preceded her way. Arizona looked back at her and followed her as the short women stand by the elevator and pressed the button.

„Bayley, I wanted to talk to you. About yesterday."

„No, don't worry about it. I'll just ask somebody else from the board to sign my trial for me. I don't want you to mess with it. You got enough of your own mess."

„I don't have a mess. And, what you saw yesterday, I would appreciate it if you could just keep it to yourself. There is enough gossip around the hospital like this." Arizona told her as she followed her at the elevator.

„So, I am supposed to keep your secrets now. No, no. I 'an't doing that."

„What? Well, Bayley, there is nothing going on with me and April. We're friends."

„Well, if there's nothing going on, why should I keep my mouth shout?" Black women asked her and looked at Robbins that had a confused look on her face. She was about to open her mouth to speak, but the other women cut her off.

„Look, you and Torres are my friends, and I don't wanna pick a side between you two. But, if this is what your side is,... I'm gonna pick Torres."

„There is no picking sides. Callie and I are fine." Arizona tried to assured her.

„W-What? Now, listen. You got a reputation. The whole hospital knows what you did with that 'Bosnen' women when she was here."

„Boswel" The blonde corrected her.

„Whatever! And I don't even what to think about the rumors that evolve you and Murphy, the intern. And, now, I find you naked with Kepner!" Bayley just waved her hand and she didn't knew what to think about.

„We weren't naked."

Bayley just gave her a bad look. She stepped out of the elevator and said to Arizona „I don't wanna know this things." She turned her back and left leaving the other women alone.

* * *

Jackson was standing at the nurse station at the E.R. as he pretended to he was updating his patient status on an Ipad. April was standing near the patients bed and examing him. Jackson was staring at her and thinking at the way things played between April and him yesterday. He wanted a second chance to talk to her and to do something right. He didn't pay any attention at the rest of the people when Karev stepped beside him and stopped his thoughts.

„Dude, wipe out that drool of your face." He said as he smirked at his friend.

Jackson looked at him at confusion and acted as if he had no idea what was he talking about.

„Oh, com 'on, man" Karev spoke „You've been staring at Kepner so hard I thought your eyeballs are gonna hit her head. Just do something. Focus on your work. Or get laid. What ever helps. Just don't stand here like a creep and watch her every move. It's disturbing."

„I'm not watching just happens to be in my... optical field." Jackson tried to behave normal.

„Look, dude. We've been over this already. She's a done deal. She didn't pick you. She married another guy. You can't mess with her anymore." Karev told him with a serious look on his face, as he walked away from him.

April walked in the attending lounge with a stain on her scrubs. Arizona was there sitting on the couch with Meredith and laughing about something.

„Uuu-oohhh. You smell awful." Meridith told to the redhead doctor.

„Yeah, well a guy just puked on me in the E.R." She said as she open the locker looking for new scrubs. The two women laughed at her. „Where are the scrubs? I can't find anything here. It's a mess."

„If there not here, you can find others in the supply closet on the top shelf. I'll come with you, I gotta pick up some stuff for peds."Arizona said and stood up from the couch, opening the door. „See yoe later , Mer."

„Bye. Oh, don't forget, board meeting tonight." Meridith yelled behind the two women who just left.

* * *

April and Arizona were in the supply closet. Arizona was holding clean scrub shirt in her hands, and April was trying to take off her shirt but her wedding ring got stuck on her hair.

„Damn it! I can't pull it off!" She mumbled through her mouth. Arizona tried to help her, so she took the hem of her scrub top and tried to pull it off.

„Wait, it's coming of! Just a little bit!"

„Ouch! You're pulling my hair!"

They were busy screaming and fighting with the shirt, that they didn't even saw the door opening. Once they manage to get it of, Arizona hold her scrub top and April was standing in the supply closet just in her bra. They both looked over to the door, when they heard somebody clearing their throat. It was Bayley, standing there and watching them with her eyes wide open.

„Unbeliveble!" she exclaimed and closed the door behind her. April quickly wore the clean scrub top and took he lab coat as she run through the door. She was trying to find Bayley before she was out of sight. She manage to catch up with her.

„Dr. Bayley! Oh, my God!"

„Don't even speak to me Kepner! I said everything I had to say to Arizona this morning. I don't want to know anything!" Bayley said.

„No! No! You got it all wrong! How could you even think something like that?!"

„I find you naked with another women, another lesbian women! Twice! What the hell I am supposed to think?"

„But, I am not! ... Oh, God! Please , Dr. Bayley, let me explain!"

„You don't have to explain yourself to me! Only person you're supposed to explain yourself is your husband! And your parents! ... I don't have anything against being gay, but when you are cheating on people I have a problem with that!"

„I am not gay!" April exclaimed loud. She didn't even noticed she was standing in the middle of the hallway where several doctors and nurses were, among them, Yang, Hunt, Jackson and the interns Edwards and Murphy. They all heard her yelling, but she didn't care anymore. Bayley looked at her with surprise.

„I am not sleeping with a women!" She said with a laugh, clearly she was a bit hysterical „I am not destroying dr. Torres and Dr. Robbins's marriage!" She paused for a moment. „And I am not cheating on my husband! And even if I was, I can't say that he would really care about it, considering he is probably on the other side of the the planet, trying to get as far from me as he can! I am sleeping on their couch! I don't have a place to be, since I'm broke, because of the stupid wedding that didn't brought me any luck at all, and that my husband run off from me on my wedding night and I have no idea where he is! ... So, no! I am not gay!" April yelled, not caring that all eyes and ears were on her. She looked around and noticed that everybody heard every word she was saying. She sighed deeply and yelled once more „What are all you looking at?!" She turned on her heel and went away as soon as possible. The doctors stood there in shock, not understanding what the hell just happened.

April was down i the E.R. and she could felt all eyes on her. The word about her confession spread in no time. It was expected. The people in the hospital had no other buissnes then to gossip. But, she knew what her next move was.

* * *

After the board meeting, all the members went out, and decided to go home. Arizona was about to walk outside, when Jackson put his hand on her arm and asked her if he can have a word with her. She knew very well what he wanted. The two of them didn't had many conversations, and they did, it was mostly about the hospital. But, they did have one more thing in comon. They both cared about April. Jackson waited that all of the people leave the room. He closed the door and turned to the pediatric surgeon.

„I think you know what I want to ask you. Especially, after this afternoon."

Arizona just nodded at his words.

„What is going on with her? All she said today...? Is it true?"

The women looked at him and didn't really felt fine with where this conversation was going, „It's not my place to say anything."

„I just want to know if it's true. Is she really staying at your place?"

The blonde took a deep breath, not sure if she was supposed to answer his questions.

„If she said that... than, yes, it's true."

Jackson placed his hands on his hips and looked at the floor, as he slowly nodded.

„What about Matthew? Is she...- Are they together?"

„I am not answering that!" the women snapped „It is non of your buissnes, what happens with April and her marriage! What ever happened or is going to happen with two of them, doesn't change the fact that she is still married." She passed by him and placed her hand on the door knob, but stopped. She turned around and watching his back turned to her said. „She is in a mess. And she needs to figure it all out. She doesn't need you meddling and trying to confuse her more than she is. So just... Stay away from her." She left the room.

Once again, somebody else told him to stay away from April. As they could understand him, and understand the fact that it was impossible to keep his distance from her. As much as he maybe wanted it, he knew he couldn't. April is the love of his life. She is everything he wants. But, is he what she wants? She wanted him before. He understood that what he did in her wedding, was impulsive and probably the worst timing ever, ... But, that doesn't change the fact that she maybe did felt something for him. She never did answer his question. _'Do you?' _It was a simple question. Did she loved him?

* * *

After picking her wife at the airport, Arizona rushed to home. She wanted to talk to April and tell her about her conversation with Jackson. They opened the front door and saw the redhead surgeon sitting on the couch, with her bags packed and beside her. She stood up, and said

„Sophia is asleep. She eat and she is freshly bathed and sound asleep."

The two women looked at her in surprise. The fact that they knew their daughter is fine did made them feel good, but she was still standing with her suitcases all packed.

„What's with the bags?" Callie asked.

„I am moving out." April said and put her hands in the back pockets of her jeans. „It's time that I do. You two still have things to resolve, and me being here is stopping you from doing that. And, to be honest, it's kind of keeping me from resolving my crap, to."

„April..." Arizona tried to cut her of, but April put her hand in front of her, stopping her to say anything else.

„No. Just let me say it, please. I've been hiding ever since the wedding, trying to forget everything and I thought if I act like nothing's wrong, it will eventually just go away. Sort itself alone. But, it's not like that. I need to deal with my life, now. And with the people who are in my life. And try to make it all right. And... I can't do that from your living room. So, thank you for everything, but I have to go now."

She took her bags and passed by the two women, stopping by Arizona, and put her hand on her shoulder and shooting her a light smile of gratitude. She went out, and the two women stood in a little bit of shock.

* * *

_**That's it for today. I am starting on my new chapter right away, so it shouldn't be too long that I post it. So, please review, and suggestions are also very welcomed. It is my first fanfiction, so I need all the help I can get. Thank you! **_


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